Cleaver got into the passenger seat. The car sank a little more than it would with almost anyone else. He pulled his knees towards his chest, looked sheepish as Shaun got into the car, then smiled.
Karkit jumped into the back, looked at Cleaver, then said, “I should get into the front.”
Cleaver said, “No, you should not.”
Karkit answered, “But you look like a human stuck in a goblin cage.”
The half-orc looked at the goblin, then said, “How is it that you have such a small body yet such a large mouth?”
Shaun said, “Can you both shut up? Why are you even talking?”
Shaun saw the keys were still in the car and the engine was still working, even with the crushed bonnet. He wondered how long it would keep running given the damage it had taken from the battle axe. He felt it best not to waste time wondering. He put his foot down, and the car started to move forward.
Cleaver and Karkit both laughed in excitement.
Cleaver said, “This thing is fast.”
“This isn’t fast. Wait until we get onto a highway.”
Karkit said, “Go faster.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I said so. Shut up.”
Cleaver added, “Why does he have a big mouth?”
Karkit said, “Why do you have a big stupid?”
Shaun said, “Why don’t you both shut up?”
They both shut up.
He had only been in Melbourne a short time. Staying in one place was not normal for him. In the last four years, he had lived in three countries, six cities, two towns and one bridge.
He had also worked nine jobs, stolen four computers, six gaming consoles, one Defenders of Krondor game and one lunch. He did what it took to pay the bills.
Usually.
Not knowing his way around very well, he felt lucky to know where the hospital was. He only knew where it was because that was where his mother had gone to die a few weeks ago.
He pushed that thought back down, he had enough impossible things to deal with as it was.
Follow this road. It will show up soon enough.
Karkit asked, “Where are we going?”
Shaun looked at the goblin in the mirror. He said, “I am going to get help getting rid of you both.”
Cleaver asked, “What did we do wrong? Has it got something to do with me accidentally killing the halfling?”
“No, it isn’t about the halfling being split in half. You weren’t supposed to kill him, just hurt him. You landed an absurdly unlucky critical hit.”
They both looked confused.
Shaun continued, “I had just got back into the group, the one that Karkit stole the sword from the halfling.”
Karkit interjected, “Hey, you told me to steal it.”
Shaun kept talking. “Cleaver here had saved the group a few times with Cleavage. They had just learned to trust me again when I thought it would be funny to hit the halfling as punishment for stealing my lunch.”
Cleaver said, “It was a beetroot sandwich, my favourite.”
“Why did you have to kill him?”
“I just told you, it was a beetroot sandwich, my favourite.”
Karkit asked again, “Where are we going?”
“I told you already.”
“No, you didn’t. You told us what you were doing, not where we’re going.”
Shaun pulled the car over and took a deep breath. He looked in the mirror at the goblin in the back seat, then looked at the half-orc again.
They weren’t real. There was no point getting annoyed with them. He only had to reach the hospital, tell them he was seeing things and let them fix it.
Cleaver asked, “Are we here?”
“No.”
He got the car moving again, then he saw the hospital up ahead and was thankful for it because steam was beginning to curl from beneath the bonnet.
He drove as the steam increased. The lights ahead turned red. He wanted to drive through the red light, but there were cars blocking the path forward. He pulled to a stop.
A car pulled up beside them. A young woman was driving.
Karkit said, “She looks yummy.”
Shaun said, “You are not allowed to eat humans. We have been through that before.”
“I didn’t say I would eat her. I just said she looks yummy.”
He looked across the car at her and smiled. She was looking at Cleaver, her eyes widening until the whites showed. Cleaver smiled. She pulled a face of disgust and looked away.
She didn’t see Cleaver. She just saw me and thought I was leering at her. My hands tightened on the steering wheel. She thought I was perving, she turned away because of me, not Cleaver.
The lights were taking forever to change, and the steam was increasing.
Cleaver said, “I think the steam is a bad thing. I think the car is going to die.”
“Yep. You killed another thing I told you to tap.”
“I am sorry.”
Karkit added, “Which reminds me, you didn’t say sorry for making me steal that stupid halfling’s sword.”
The lights turned green. Shaun impatiently tooted the horn to hurry the car in front up. The driver gave him the finger.
Karkit said, “I can bite that finger off if you want me to.”
He ignore them.
The cars started to move. Shaun drove into the hospital car park, parked the car, turned it off and listened to the engine do its final clanking and banging before it coughed once and died.
Karkit said, “That sounded bad.”
“It was. Thanks, Cleaver, yet again.”
“You told me to hit it. So, I hit it.”
“Shut up.”
Shaun sat in the car. He wanted to get out of the car but wasn’t sure if he should. He kept looking at his two characters. They looked and smelled so very, very real.
Why had he taken those pills? He didn’t even do drugs unless he knew the person giving them to him.
Karkit began to tap against the window, fascinated by how clear and hard the glass was.
Cleaver was trying to shift position.
Shaun said, “Okay, I’m going into the hospital. I would prefer you both stayed here.”
Karkit answered, “That isn’t going to happen.”
Cleaver agreed with Karkit.
“Fine, we’re going into the hospital. I want you both to say nothing to anyone, don’t touch anything, you are only to follow me, or stand beside me, and nothing else. Total silence. Understand?”
In unison, they answered, “Okay.”
“Good.”
He opened the door, and the other two followed.
This could get interesting.
What Should Shaun Do?
Option 1 — Tell the truth
Shaun goes directly to reception and admits he swallowed unknown pills and is seeing two game characters.
Option 2 — Test the hallucination
Shaun asks someone in the waiting room whether they can see the goblin and half-orc standing beside him.
Option 3 — Keep them hidden
Shaun avoids reception and tries to find somewhere private inside the hospital where he can question Cleaver and Karkit.